It was the biggest game in the history of the program....and we choked. Last night, William and Mary, with a team comprised enought white guys to make Hitler proud, improbably was playing for their first ever trip to the NCAA Tournament. Apparently, William and Mary is not the basketball powerhouse most people take them to be. In fact, since the onset of the NCAA Tournament only 5 teams that were there since the beginning had not made it. Of course the Tribe was one of them. Seeing as how it looks like it might be another 300 years before the Tribe plays in another CAA Championship game you can imagine the bad taste that I had leaving the bar aka Tribe Nation viewing party aka one fat blond lady '89 alumni who tried to get us to cheer louder to which we responded that she should worry less about our cheering and more about how her disgusting obesity is making all her eHarmony dates stand her up. But the bad taste wasn't due to the loss, it was due more to the way we lost.
The MVP of the team is without a doubt Danny Sumner aka the only black guy on the team. If I were Coach Shaver, better known to his nieces and nephews as "Coach Pedophile," every time down the court I would have fed the Black guy and let him go to work. Instead we decided to let our 5'4'' team mascot jack threes all game long. Sure we were outmatched from an athletic perspective seeing as how Mason actually realized its not 1957 and colleges have actually been integrated, thus allowing for more than one Black player. Not to mention the influx of talent that is coming in since the Final Four run of 2006. About that run.....
Sure it was a great couple of weeks here in the DC back in '06 when the "Mason Nation" came out of the woodworks and for the first time were not embarassed they lived in their parents house and commuted to school because their grades were so shitty their college counselor advised them to save their application money on reach schools like JMU because there was just no chance. And now people are calling William and Mary fans bandwagon fans?? Sure our team has been shitty for the past, well, ever, but that doesn't mean I can't be proud of a school that has produced four presidents, soon to be 5 in 10 years once our good man RW. Ferg III turns 35 and is eligible. We've got entertainers, diplomats, astronauts, and writers, not to mention a little band by the name of, oh I don't know, SEVEN MARY THREE! What does Mason have? According to their Wikipedia page, which is never wrong, not much. One of their most famous alumni is Greg Nosal. Never heard of him, well I guess you're just not be up to date on all your Professional Foosball players.Seriously, how can you brag about your college when Lincoln Tech was founded 10 years before Mason?? How sad is that? I remember growing up making fun of my brother saying he was to dumb to go anwyere but Lincoln Tech, turns out I probably should have been telling him he would be going to Mason with all the other retards too scared to leave the nest.
Anyways, great run William and Mary, I'll tell you who is happy that you lost: Everybody. William and Mary is the hottest team in the country and I'm pretty confident no one wanted to have any part of them in the tournament. Now heres a wacky idea for the offseason - recruit some fucking Black guys!
