We win when it matters: Super Bowl XLII Redskins 21 Patriots 17

52-7....no, I know what you are thinking and that is NOT a tally of how many girls Keder has slept with and how many of those girls did not have an STD, its the final score of the Redskins game yesterday. Sure I laughed at the fact that they were 17 point dogs in the game. Sure I told you to take them straight up. Sure I said Tom Brady was an ass pirate deadbeat father. Well I am man enough to stand up and accept the fact that an ass pirate handed it to the skins yesterday. But seriously, should we be worried? Absolutely not! Should we be encouraged by the outcome of the game yesterday? Sure as sugar we should be! Ned's bro's gone fucking crazy hasn't he? He had a few too many brewdogs at homecoming and has finally lost it! If thats what you think, you can go fuck yourself, however I would like to point out some instances in blockbuster films most of which is based on true stories which would lead one to believe that the Skins are not in fact finished, yet to the contrary we have the Pats and the rest of the NFL right where we want them and it is now inevitable that the Redskins will beat the Pats in Arizona for the Super Bowl. Without further ado, here are some of the greatest season turnarounds in theatrical history:

Little Giants

To the best of my knowledge this movie was based on a true story. Remember what happened the first time the Giants played the Cowboys? Thats right they got it handed to them just like the Redskins, the Giants didn't even have uniforms and their best player was some dyke girl named "Icebox." Meanwhile the Cowboys are filled with kids who were probably all on HGH and all resembled Hitler's perception of the perfect child. Well you know what ended up happening? The Giants got that hottie to play QB for them, the dyke chose to be straight and Rad Tad got rabies. All these things culminating in the Giants winning that shit on that illegal play. Oh and on a side note, how the hell are we meant to believe that Al Bundy and Rick Moranis are brothers? The only explanation I can think of is that they both have the same mother, yet one night she got really drunk and ended up getting knocked up by the Dunkin Donuts guy and had Rick Moranis 9 months later.

Cool Runnings

Amazingly, this movie was actually based on a true story, contrary to general sentiment in the South, this is not a science fiction movie. These boys from Jamaica make what could be argued as the greatest turn around out of anyone on this list. Just a few months before the Olympics they had never even seen snow or even knew what a bobsled was. However, that quickly changed when they got the compulsive gambling coach who teaches them everything they need to know about Bobsledding and more importantly, about how to be men. Fighting through the notorious hotbed of racism, Calgary, it only takes a single montage set to Calypso beats to get from being the worst bobsled team of all time to a competitive squad. It really is amazing that their first run down the track they can't even get into the sled, but once they paint their sled, give it a sick nickname and practice for like half an hour in their bathtub they miraculously turn into medal contenders. Unfortunately reality actually hits and their sled breaks down nearly making the entire team Kevin Everretts but seriously, who needs medical attention when you can carry your sled to the finish line. It's really a heartwarming finish where even the super racist Swiss captain congratulates Daurice on a good race. Everyone always overlooks this, but do you think John Candy, in his search for the mortal lock of a bet, sabotaged the bobsled? This would make perfect sense, he bet everything he had against the Jamaicans and tampered with the brakes and made out like a bandit. Obviously the Redskins will not be exactly like this, Dan Snyder would never allow for that abortion of a bobsled, so ours would have obviously finished the race and won the gold just like we're going to knock off the Pats in the Super Bowl.

Hardball

Probably best known for their tribute to Notorious B.I.G. by the entire team singing "Big Poppa" and waving their hands in the air roughly 50 times during the movie, Hardball is what I like to call, what would happen if Mighty Ducks took place in the Hood. This movie follows the lead of the previous two by initially having our protagonists, the "Kecumbas" being just awful at baseball, which is in itself a total shocker that this team full of black kids from the inner city is actually playing baseball. Pretty realistic, I'm sure they wouldn't rather play sports they actually are good at like basketball, dice, or impregnating women out of wedlock. Anyways, Keaunu Reeves plays some drunk compulsive gambler who is up to his ears in bad luck and is eventually forced to coach this group of kids as punishment for his debts. What the fuck kind of bookie punishes the bettor by making him coach kids? If this happend in real life Keanu would be fucking dead. Oh, and why did the Kecumbas need a drunk compulsive gambler as their coach, couldn't they just get one of the kids' dads to coach the team...oh wait, nevermind. The Kecumbas first play their rivals and just get smoked, probably because the other team is rich and actually has uniforms, they probably even have dads too. As time goes by, Keanu hits a hot streak gambling so of course he buys the kids uniforms which suddenly makes them amazing baseball players and they go on a tear on the field winning everything and eventually making it to the championship game where they play their archrivals. Sadly, we have to hear the tale of their glory in the eulogy Reeves gives for the 8 year old kid who was on the team and got the game winning hit...it still brings tears to my eyes when I think of Reeves talking about how little G-Baby lifted his arms in the air as if he was "lifting the weight of the world." Anyway, I didn't feel sorry for that kid, if he didnt want to get shot in gang related violence then he shouldn't have chosen to live in the Chicago projects. I mean seriously, you really think you're safe living there? Bite the bullet and pay the extra money to live in the suburbs already! The moral of this story is that the Kecumbas turned things around and ended up winning it all, and so will the Redskins.